- Be loyal and your company will take care of you.
- Sacrifice for your company and you will always have a job and be advanced.
- Get a college degree.
- Stay with the same company and work hard.
- A pension and full health coverage are expected benefits.
- Quality is job one.
- You are valued on merit.
- You are a family member.
- Blondie.
- The company does not believe in layoffs.
- Our policy is to pay for performance.
- You get a bonus to stay.
- Accountability.
Employment 2011
- Be dedicated to your task, but loyal only to your friends and family.
- Be committed but not crazy.
- A degree is nice, but who you know is more valuable.
- To advance or get a raise you'll need to move; many times.
- You get some help with healthcare and a 401k, after that you're on your own.
- Make your dates even if you have to cut corners; no one ever got fired for making a deadline. We have insurance and a legal department for mistakes.
- It is better to be lucky than good.
- Hello, employee #1741349.
- Dilbert.
- Don't let the door hit you in the ass.
- Failure is rewarded.
- You get a bonus to retire early.
- Plausible deniability.
