Sunday, June 26, 2011

Terms for the New IT Dictionary

I'm going to save this space to copyright a few terms I've come up with that have consistently amused my peers in IT. I'll add them as I find them.

Outlook Jockey
This is what I call project managers that only superficially perform their duties. They organize meetings and send emails. But they don't control scope, they don't understand the business or the users, they don't forge relationships with stakeholders and then carry forward and foster those relationships with the other parties on the project. They don't communicate regularly with everyone and then help break down barriers between developers and users. In short, they aren't doing much work at all except to look busy setting up and running meetings and emailing status reports. They're glorified messengers, getting a status from one party and passing it to the next.

No, I'm not talking about the top ten percent of you that do a great job. But the rest of you must qualify for the rating, because when I use the phrase "outlook jockey" I always get a reaction. People don't laugh at something because it's funny, they laugh because it's true.

Requirements Sentence
Forget about requirements documents.

If you're doing it right, you've moved on to more effective forms of requirements capture that span everything from use cases and graphics to wikis and co-locating developers and users.

If you're doing it like everyone else, then you're probably going off what I now call the "requirements sentence" because that's usually what you get: one sentence describing the system that's wanted. "I want a system that will do ERP and take care of everything from beginning to end and be fast and work just how I want and do leverage and acquisitions and stuff. No, I don't have time to help with requirements." Uh huh. Thanks, Mr. Big Picture Guy. Maybe you can get your buddy Mr. Vision Guy to help out between shopping for inspirational office wall posters.

To Earn More and Learn More
It's what you say when people ask why you are leaving a job. "Because I want to earn more and learn more." This one isn't a joke. When good employees leave, this is usually the real reason!

No comments: